Happy Birthday Grandpa!

Well first of all let me tell you how much i hate the fall, its when things start to die and gets dark early and i simply hate it--- but as November comes along i have both grandpas birthdays and my friend Nadine's too but the November 3rd birthday is one i have been think about this year, its my grandpa Rankin's birthday, sadly Grandpa Rankin was taken home to Heaven almost6 years ago. As his birthday approaches i am reminded of how some people handle death and how you either have tons of regrets for not involving that person more in your life and finding yourself asking if that person knew how much they meant to you. I personally know that my grandpa knew that i loved him. He and i spent many camping trips together, we shared broken hearts and he tried to make me laugh by calling all my boyfriends (even crushes) who hurt my feelings "peckerheads" and cried with me, he came to as many of extra curricular activites as he could. I loved that i was so involved with him! i have no regrets which makes me feel at peace with his passing away--

as i have pondered the whole "circle of life" i am reminded of a tribute that my boss at the Day Treatment wrote when his son was taken from him. Gary is one the best bosses that i have ever worked for and has taught me a lot! i am blessed that i got to know him and he truly put a lot of things into perspective... here is what he wrote to everyone who wrote on his sons guest book at the time of his passing:

"Death is the most feared experience in this existence. It is also the greatest gift we will receive. Some have talked about the two doors. Birth is the entrance door where we enter a body, necessary to be in this world. There is pain, separation and fear that we are all alone. you come from a place where you are whole with all that is and the most traumatic experience is when you open your eyes and see your self separate. The other door is when you shed the illusion of being separate. Shed yourself of all the dear and hurt and step into unconditional love. One the strange things about this life is that when a close one leaves those around us seem to shed these burdens of life as well. People forget the mundane focus of their life and give unconditionally of their love and mater things lose all meaning. For a short time loving each other is the only focus of our awareness. Maybe, when the door is opened for our loved one, some of what is on the other side spills through. I share the thing i feel as maybe and explanation of the overwhelming love, sacrifice and giving I have experienced from those around me as [name] left his world. He life not only his pain behind, but gave us am opportunity to examine why we do not, every day act as we did when he left us, We found ourselves saying "I love you" at the end of every conversation we had with our friends and loved ones. What is real is that we always, always, and forever have loved those around us. In this illusion of this short life we forgot this. "

WOW! right?!? seriously it is awesome how some people can deal with things differently. I challenge all of us to try to live life without regrets. May everyone be blessed with good events, but if by chance the Lord has something different for you know that people are there to help you cope and deal. I love how Gary puts things into an awesome perspective!

Thanks Grandpa R for being so wonderful and willing to do anything for us! We miss you but we know your spirit is with us after all you always told us that when you died you would come back as a german brown fish and Maximus caught a german brown the first time he went fishing the summer after you passed! your with us now grandpa safe sound and void of pain and suffering. Your with people who love you!

Thanks to everyone who reads and follows my blog- i hope you enjoy reading as much as i love blogging! more to come in the next few days!!!


I'm Gonna kill me a vampire

okay so ya i am a lemming but i started reading the twilight series i finished the first two in like 29 hours however the second has left me so emotionally drained that i seriously will kill the next vampire i see-- which could be bad seeing that halloween is just around the corner!

so i thought i would take a break and do this tag thingy-ma-bob-- so if you are reading this.. tag your it! just fill in your own answers.

1.Where is your cell phone?on my shelf
2.Where is your significant other? lost at sea
3.Your hair color? reddish brown with blonde streaks
4.Your mother? hilarious
5.Your father? confusing
6.Your favorite thing? sleeping
7.Your dream last night? damn vampires
8.Your dream/goal? own place
9.The room you're in? the bedroom
10.Your hobby? scrapbookin/crochet
11.Your fear? the boo box
12.Where do you want to be in 6 years? can i just live til tomorrow please?
13.Where were you last night? wal-mart
14.What you're not? pregnant
15.One of your wish list items? police scanner and the new season of csi
16.Where you grew up? the equality state GO POKES!
17.The last thing you did? cleaned my bathroom--- do i have any hair left on my head?
18.What are you wearing? what i usually wear to bed (those of you who know can go ahead and laugh
19.Your t.v.? heavy as heck
20.Your pet? scares the neighbors
21.Your computer? finally works thanks to my ingenious efforts
22.Your mood? disturbed
23.Missing someone? unfortunatley
24.Your car? finally runs
25.Something you're not wearing? a smile
26.Favorite store? walmart
27.Your summer? sucked
28.Love someone? love can go jump off a cliff
29.Favorite color? PINK
30.Last time you laughed? at my sisters patient who called her fat all day today-- gotta love old people...
31.Last time you cried? this morning-- couldn't tell you why.

Now all you go ahead and do this too i expect to see your answer on here very very very soon.


what disney princess are you?

You Are Jasmine!
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Independent and adventurous. You don't want much; just to break out of the guilded cage society has put you in and experience life to the fullest. Following orders isn't really one of your strong points, and you would rather live a life of poverty than being forced into something that you hate.

Which Disney Princess Are You?


Really? Honeslty?

So i am really extremely pissed off at this point. okay more hurt than anything...
here it goes....

At my work which by the way i love my job. i am actually obssessed with it. and i am damn good at what i do, but here is the thing-- there has been some not so good thing going down between two of our residents and they are investigating it and today we were told at our training meeting that job might be lost over this. that ticks me off. in my defense i haven't worked that unit for a while so that might just save my butt-- however it could-- don't get me wrong the human resources department has been very good to me and i would hope that i would have some kind of good repoir with them but holy piss on red hot ants!!! why should i be held accountable for that?!? rediculous. kids are sneaky and covert and are going to do crap like that regardless of what we do-- grrr...i know i ask for a lot of prayers but if you could please keep me in yours again until this is all over-- i am scared and don't know what to do, my career will be finished in the social work field and i am not to sure i am ready to let it all go. i am passionate about social work! grrr

on another note we had out first snowfall of the season this past weekend and while i was excited and shocked i got to do something new. At work we have kids of all ethnicities and one of the native american kids wanted to do the traditional first snow fall ritual. it was fun to be part of that. we said some prayer and jumped into the snow!!!yippee... i want to change my background to christmas because i like christmas but the only template they had was lame. get with the program people walmart has chritsmas decorations since july what seems to be the problem!?!? sheesh!

as elections come near i hope that God has some kind of hand in it like accidently making barack obamas car run of the road on some cliff and can't be found anytime til after the elections! as i understand that he is a well educated man, but for those of us who can't have children or rather shouldn't have children-- i am appalled that he is for abortions during the second trimester or leaving live babies in a sink to die because the mother doesn't want them!!! grrr.. anyways vote people!

I am on a quest again to lose weight-- i lose it but then it finds me again. I am almost three months soda free well with caffeine in it anyway i have rootbeer every so often but then i go for a while not having any! i am excited for the weight thing though i need to get back in shape incase i need to fo work as a correctional officer.

well i suppose i have done enough ranting and raving for the night! will update more as i go! you guys are the best! thanks!



just a thought..


So 'if' the US government determines that it is against the law for the words 'under God' to be on our money, then, So be it.

And 'if' that same government decides that the
'Ten Commandments' are not to be used in or on a government installation, then, so be it.

I say, 'so be it,' because I would like to be a law abiding US citizen.

I say, 'so be it,’; because I would like to think that smarter people than I are in positions to make good decisions.

I would like to think that those people have the American public's best interests at heart.


Since we can't pray to God, can't Trust in God and cannot post His Commandments in Government buildings, I don't believe the Government and its employees should participate in the Easter and Christmas celebrations which honor the God that our government is eliminating from many facets of American life.

I'd like my mail delivered on Christmas, Good Friday, Thanksgiving & Easter. After all, it's just another day.

I'd like the ' US Supreme Court to be in session on Christmas, Good Friday, Thanksgiving & Easter as well as Sundays.' After all, it's just another day.

I'd like the Senate and the House of Representatives to not have to worry about getting home for the 'Christmas Break.' After all it's just another day.

I'm thinking that a lot of my taxpayer dollars could be saved, if all government offices & services would work on Christmas, Good Friday & Easter. It shouldn't cost any overtime since those would be just like any other day of the week to a government that is trying to be 'politically correct.'

In fact....

I think that our government should work on Sundays (initially set aside for worshipping God...) because, after all, our government says that it should be just another day....

What do you all think????