so this week has been absolutely crazy, not necessarily a bad week, but a crazy one.

My job is down sizing to save money on the corporate end and quite frankly its stupid how that all works, i mean honestly i poor my heart and soul into my job sometimes working ridiculous hours, and i know that others work just as hard if not harder at their own jobs, but man its taking its toll... so yeah i have to make the transition from my day treatment to a residential facility, which i don't believe as much in their program as i do the day treatment. i am scared shitless because i won't be the head staff anymore. Now granted it never takes me too long to get in some kind of management position (i know it sounds cocky, but its totally true!) the nice thing about it is that it is only about 6 minutes from my house again, gotta look at the bright side right.

So i am having some surgical work done---yay for me, hopefully it will eliminate and reverse some of the stupid choices that i made in the past. but i am scared about that too, anytime i have to have an i v, yeah scared!!!

my best friend and i haven't talked the last couple days (well mostly because i haven't had my phone) but it hurts. most of it hurts because i feel like i have lost her over boys--- and we have been through this a thousand times. i can't say much more because there is just something about emails, texts, blogs, blah blah blah that makes people think that you are yelling or bitching or something when really you are just talking. i won't go back to him by the way----

my parents are struggling at their own marriage and that makes things tough too watch. they have been married for 27 years and it seems like with each passing year they grow farther and farther apart, they have been through a lot together-- and my dad doesn't know i know half stuff that i do, but my biggest fear is that they won't be together much longer, my dad is always looking to better his income, his job, his status and its almost like he doesn't care if it doesn't better the family that its making us all crazy that he does it, and then there is my mom, love her to death but she needs to stick up for herself.

crazy crazy crazy,

they just got home from a wrestling meet so i will write more later....



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