depression? me?

this is kind of a good news bad news blog so i am not allowing comments cause really i am not sure if i want feedback or not-- i think i just needed someplace to vent and be heard but not anyone to fix things...

i went to the doctor on monday and he says that my iron levels are back on track and almost nmormal. he said that my levesl are 11.9 and normal for my age is supposed to be 12.1- then he said that it flucuates .2 either way so i am normal but he wants me to continue taking 975 mg of iron and 1500 mg of vitamin c a day... sick. and the funny thing is? i am taking all this vitamin c and still manage to catch a cold..medical phenomenon? i hate taken all this medince.

lately i have been really down and depressed. just thinking about how lonely i am.. really i don't have any one to say they love me everyday, no one to fight with, no one to cuddle with, no one to call me mom and bring me dead dandelions.. NOTHING.. and i am seriously thinking its me. Am i some stark raving bitch? am i bad girlfriend? am i that hideously ugly? ugh i hate this.... sorry to be so negative but that is how i am feeling. It cracks me up to hear people say to me "how can you have low self esteem?" or "why are sad today? you aren't supposed to be sad!"--- say what? who says i am not SUPPOSED to be anything. look people i am sad, i have a little social circle (she is fun to hang out with don't get me wrong but our schedules are almost completely opposite). I fell like a loser half of my life and the other half i hide it with my fabulous sense of humor... just let me feel whatever i want people! GOSH!!!!!!!