12.21.2009


Please Remember


TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS,
HE LIVED ALL ALONE,
IN A ONE BEDROOM HOUSE MADE OF
PLASTER AND STONE.

I HAD COME DOWN THE CHIMNEYWITH PRESENTS TO GIVE,
AND TO SEE JUST WHO
IN THIS HOME DID LIVE.

I LOOKED ALL ABOUT,
A STRANGE SIGHT I DID SEE,
NO TINSEL, NO PRESENTS,
NOT EVEN A TREE.

NO STOCKING BY MANTLE,
JUST BOOTS FILLED WITH SAND,
ON THE WALL HUNG PICTURES
OF FAR DISTANT LANDS.

WITH MEDALS AND BADGES,
AWARDS OF ALL KINDS,
A SOBER THOUGHT
CAME THROUGH MY MIND.

FOR THIS HOUSE WAS DIFFERENT,
IT WAS DARK AND DREARY,
I FOUND THE HOME OF A SOLDIER,
ONCE I COULD SEE CLEARLY.

THE SOLDIER LAY SLEEPING,
SILENT, ALONE,
CURLED UP ON THE FLOOR
IN THIS ONE BEDROOM HOME.

THE FACE WAS SO GENTLE,
THE ROOM IN SUCH DISORDER,
NOT HOW I PICTURED
A UNITED STATES SOLDIER.

WAS THIS THE HERO
OF WHOM I'D JUST READ?
CURLED UP ON A PONCHO,
THE FLOOR FOR A BED?

I REALIZED THE FAMILIES
THAT I SAW THIS NIGHT,
OWED THEIR LIVES TO THESE SOLDIERS
WHO WERE WILLING TO FIGHT.

SOON ROUND THE WORLD,
THE CHILDREN WOULD PLAY,
AND GROWNUPS WOULD CELEBRATE
A BRIGHT CHRISTMAS DAY.

THEY ALL ENJOYED FREEDOM
EACH MONTH OF THE YEAR,
BECAUSE OF THE SOLDIERS,
LIKE THE ONE LYING HERE.

I COULDN'T HELP WONDER
HOW MANY LAY ALONE,
ON A COLD CHRISTMAS EVE
IN A LAND FAR FROM HOME.

THE VERY THOUGHT
BROUGHT A TEAR TO MY EYE,
I DROPPED TO MY KNEES
AND STARTED TO CRY.

THE SOLDIER AWAKENED
AND I HEARD A ROUGH VOICE,
'SANTA DON'T CRY,
THIS LIFE IS MY CHOICE;

I FIGHT FOR FREEDOM,
I DON'T ASK FOR MORE,
MY LIFE IS MY GOD,
MY! COUNTRY, MY CORPS.'

THE SOLDIER ROLLED OVER
AND DRIFTED TO SLEEP,
I COULDN'T CONTROL IT,
I CONTINUED TO WEEP.

I KEPT WATCH FOR HOURS,
SO SILENT AND STILL
AND WE BOTH SHIVERED
FROM THE COLD NIGHT'S CHILL.

I DIDN'T WANT TO LEAVE
ON THAT COLD, DARK, NIGHT,
THIS GUARDIAN OF HONOR
SO WILLING TO FIGHT.

THEN THE SOLDIER ROLLED OVER,
WITH A VOICE SOFT AND PURE,
WHISPERED, 'CARRY ON SANTA,
IT'S CHRISTMAS DAY, ALL IS SECURE.'

ONE LOOK AT MY WATCH,
AND I KNEW HE WAS RIGHT.
'MERRY CHRISTMAS MY FRIEND,!
AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT.'

12.11.2009

I'm a big girl now!

So i realize that i am 27 years old and should be able to handle the adult life... however today was the first day in the history of dentist appointments that i didn't bawl my eyeballs out!

i know i know i am a baby.

-leslie

11.30.2009

thankfulness

This time of year i have so much to be grateful but i am a little frustrated... i am glad that i have trials and situations that test my patience but man sometimes i just want to let people have it....i'm highly annoyed at some people at this moment...

write more later

-leslie

11.27.2009

Its Here!!!!!

so call me weird but i ordered my all time favorite movie ever!!! and it arrived today!!!! woot woot woot!!! movie party at my house!!!

Little Women (1949) Pictures, Images and Photos

its the 1949 version of Little Women its the best one out there! love it! watch it! with hot cocoa and all... elizabeth taylor is in it!!!

go now

11.26.2009

Thanksgiving!!

okay let me just start this blog out with an explanation... i know that i haven't blogged for a while but i have sat down several times to blog but i didnt want to sound negative.... so here is something postive..

today was the best thanksgiving i think i have ever had..why you ask... well i got the best of both of worlds.. i cooked for my family..got along with my sister and ate with them... then i went to work...

now i know some of you are like "what? work" but let me tell you what. i was angry that i had to work especially since i have to work the other holidays... but when i got there my view changed. I work with kids who are locked up for vaious reasons and so they didn't get to be home for the holiday.. so as a staff we decided to bring them in a feast to have complete with decorations.

We set everything up and they all went around and said how grateful they were for different things and then we got to say how grateful we were. It was awesome to see some of their faces and they piled up two plates of good old fashion grub. They seemed to change into other people rather than the "tough guy" image they think they are. They were polite and willing to help out in the cleaning. they were nice to one another. I love the oppurtunity i had to serve them today by making their thanksgiving a little more homier than it would have.

I have lots of things to blog about and will do so soon...

Love ya guys :)

11.19.2009

5.06.2009

let the games begin

I found this fun little idea on a friends blog and decided to play along! I can't wait to see what she makes! ;) So here's what it is...The first five people to comment on this post will get something made by me! My choice. For you. This offer does have some restrictions and limitations:

1. I make no guarantees that you will like what I make!
2. What I create will be just for you.
3. It'll be done this year (hopefully sooner than later.)
4. You will have no clue what it is going to be.
5. I reserve the right to do something extremely strange.

The catch? Oh the catch is that you must re-post this on your blog. The first 5 people to do so and leave a comment telling me you did will win a marvelous homemade gift by me!Let the games begin!!

4.12.2009

soon

i will blog soon i promise

1.20.2009





why yes yes i did! seriously though i was not in any emotional state to be blogging..i sort of become and emo blogger so i didn't post anything. but i am back and i will blog some more. right now i have to sleep since i stayed up WAY TOO LATE last night. Thanks doty for letting me crash at your house. ;)

-les

10.30.2008

Happy Birthday Grandpa!

Well first of all let me tell you how much i hate the fall, its when things start to die and gets dark early and i simply hate it--- but as November comes along i have both grandpas birthdays and my friend Nadine's too but the November 3rd birthday is one i have been think about this year, its my grandpa Rankin's birthday, sadly Grandpa Rankin was taken home to Heaven almost6 years ago. As his birthday approaches i am reminded of how some people handle death and how you either have tons of regrets for not involving that person more in your life and finding yourself asking if that person knew how much they meant to you. I personally know that my grandpa knew that i loved him. He and i spent many camping trips together, we shared broken hearts and he tried to make me laugh by calling all my boyfriends (even crushes) who hurt my feelings "peckerheads" and cried with me, he came to as many of extra curricular activites as he could. I loved that i was so involved with him! i have no regrets which makes me feel at peace with his passing away--

as i have pondered the whole "circle of life" i am reminded of a tribute that my boss at the Day Treatment wrote when his son was taken from him. Gary is one the best bosses that i have ever worked for and has taught me a lot! i am blessed that i got to know him and he truly put a lot of things into perspective... here is what he wrote to everyone who wrote on his sons guest book at the time of his passing:

"Death is the most feared experience in this existence. It is also the greatest gift we will receive. Some have talked about the two doors. Birth is the entrance door where we enter a body, necessary to be in this world. There is pain, separation and fear that we are all alone. you come from a place where you are whole with all that is and the most traumatic experience is when you open your eyes and see your self separate. The other door is when you shed the illusion of being separate. Shed yourself of all the dear and hurt and step into unconditional love. One the strange things about this life is that when a close one leaves those around us seem to shed these burdens of life as well. People forget the mundane focus of their life and give unconditionally of their love and mater things lose all meaning. For a short time loving each other is the only focus of our awareness. Maybe, when the door is opened for our loved one, some of what is on the other side spills through. I share the thing i feel as maybe and explanation of the overwhelming love, sacrifice and giving I have experienced from those around me as [name] left his world. He life not only his pain behind, but gave us am opportunity to examine why we do not, every day act as we did when he left us, We found ourselves saying "I love you" at the end of every conversation we had with our friends and loved ones. What is real is that we always, always, and forever have loved those around us. In this illusion of this short life we forgot this. "

WOW! right?!? seriously it is awesome how some people can deal with things differently. I challenge all of us to try to live life without regrets. May everyone be blessed with good events, but if by chance the Lord has something different for you know that people are there to help you cope and deal. I love how Gary puts things into an awesome perspective!

Thanks Grandpa R for being so wonderful and willing to do anything for us! We miss you but we know your spirit is with us after all you always told us that when you died you would come back as a german brown fish and Maximus caught a german brown the first time he went fishing the summer after you passed! your with us now grandpa safe sound and void of pain and suffering. Your with people who love you!

Thanks to everyone who reads and follows my blog- i hope you enjoy reading as much as i love blogging! more to come in the next few days!!!

10.21.2008

I'm Gonna kill me a vampire

okay so ya i am a lemming but i started reading the twilight series i finished the first two in like 29 hours however the second has left me so emotionally drained that i seriously will kill the next vampire i see-- which could be bad seeing that halloween is just around the corner!

so i thought i would take a break and do this tag thingy-ma-bob-- so if you are reading this.. tag your it! just fill in your own answers.

1.Where is your cell phone?on my shelf
2.Where is your significant other? lost at sea
3.Your hair color? reddish brown with blonde streaks
4.Your mother? hilarious
5.Your father? confusing
6.Your favorite thing? sleeping
7.Your dream last night? damn vampires
8.Your dream/goal? own place
9.The room you're in? the bedroom
10.Your hobby? scrapbookin/crochet
11.Your fear? the boo box
12.Where do you want to be in 6 years? can i just live til tomorrow please?
13.Where were you last night? wal-mart
14.What you're not? pregnant
15.One of your wish list items? police scanner and the new season of csi
16.Where you grew up? the equality state GO POKES!
17.The last thing you did? cleaned my bathroom--- do i have any hair left on my head?
18.What are you wearing? what i usually wear to bed (those of you who know can go ahead and laugh
19.Your t.v.? heavy as heck
20.Your pet? scares the neighbors
21.Your computer? finally works thanks to my ingenious efforts
22.Your mood? disturbed
23.Missing someone? unfortunatley
24.Your car? finally runs
25.Something you're not wearing? a smile
26.Favorite store? walmart
27.Your summer? sucked
28.Love someone? love can go jump off a cliff
29.Favorite color? PINK
30.Last time you laughed? at my sisters patient who called her fat all day today-- gotta love old people...
31.Last time you cried? this morning-- couldn't tell you why.

Now all you go ahead and do this too i expect to see your answer on here very very very soon.

10.16.2008

what disney princess are you?


You Are Jasmine!
Image hosted by Photobucket.com

Independent and adventurous. You don't want much; just to break out of the guilded cage society has put you in and experience life to the fullest. Following orders isn't really one of your strong points, and you would rather live a life of poverty than being forced into something that you hate.


Which Disney Princess Are You?

10.15.2008

Really? Honeslty?

So i am really extremely pissed off at this point. okay more hurt than anything...
here it goes....

At my work which by the way i love my job. i am actually obssessed with it. and i am damn good at what i do, but here is the thing-- there has been some not so good thing going down between two of our residents and they are investigating it and today we were told at our training meeting that job might be lost over this. that ticks me off. in my defense i haven't worked that unit for a while so that might just save my butt-- however it could-- don't get me wrong the human resources department has been very good to me and i would hope that i would have some kind of good repoir with them but holy piss on red hot ants!!! why should i be held accountable for that?!? rediculous. kids are sneaky and covert and are going to do crap like that regardless of what we do-- grrr...i know i ask for a lot of prayers but if you could please keep me in yours again until this is all over-- i am scared and don't know what to do, my career will be finished in the social work field and i am not to sure i am ready to let it all go. i am passionate about social work! grrr

on another note we had out first snowfall of the season this past weekend and while i was excited and shocked i got to do something new. At work we have kids of all ethnicities and one of the native american kids wanted to do the traditional first snow fall ritual. it was fun to be part of that. we said some prayer and jumped into the snow!!!yippee... i want to change my background to christmas because i like christmas but the only template they had was lame. get with the program people walmart has chritsmas decorations since july what seems to be the problem!?!? sheesh!

as elections come near i hope that God has some kind of hand in it like accidently making barack obamas car run of the road on some cliff and can't be found anytime til after the elections! as i understand that he is a well educated man, but for those of us who can't have children or rather shouldn't have children-- i am appalled that he is for abortions during the second trimester or leaving live babies in a sink to die because the mother doesn't want them!!! grrr.. anyways vote people!

I am on a quest again to lose weight-- i lose it but then it finds me again. I am almost three months soda free well with caffeine in it anyway i have rootbeer every so often but then i go for a while not having any! i am excited for the weight thing though i need to get back in shape incase i need to fo work as a correctional officer.

well i suppose i have done enough ranting and raving for the night! will update more as i go! you guys are the best! thanks!

-leslie

10.06.2008

just a thought..

THE LAW IS THE LAW

So 'if' the US government determines that it is against the law for the words 'under God' to be on our money, then, So be it.

And 'if' that same government decides that the
'Ten Commandments' are not to be used in or on a government installation, then, so be it.

I say, 'so be it,' because I would like to be a law abiding US citizen.

I say, 'so be it,’; because I would like to think that smarter people than I are in positions to make good decisions.

I would like to think that those people have the American public's best interests at heart.

BUT, YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE I'D LIKE?

Since we can't pray to God, can't Trust in God and cannot post His Commandments in Government buildings, I don't believe the Government and its employees should participate in the Easter and Christmas celebrations which honor the God that our government is eliminating from many facets of American life.

I'd like my mail delivered on Christmas, Good Friday, Thanksgiving & Easter. After all, it's just another day.

I'd like the ' US Supreme Court to be in session on Christmas, Good Friday, Thanksgiving & Easter as well as Sundays.' After all, it's just another day.

I'd like the Senate and the House of Representatives to not have to worry about getting home for the 'Christmas Break.' After all it's just another day.

I'm thinking that a lot of my taxpayer dollars could be saved, if all government offices & services would work on Christmas, Good Friday & Easter. It shouldn't cost any overtime since those would be just like any other day of the week to a government that is trying to be 'politically correct.'

In fact....

I think that our government should work on Sundays (initially set aside for worshipping God...) because, after all, our government says that it should be just another day....

What do you all think????

9.24.2008

depression? me?

this is kind of a good news bad news blog so i am not allowing comments cause really i am not sure if i want feedback or not-- i think i just needed someplace to vent and be heard but not anyone to fix things...

i went to the doctor on monday and he says that my iron levels are back on track and almost nmormal. he said that my levesl are 11.9 and normal for my age is supposed to be 12.1- then he said that it flucuates .2 either way so i am normal but he wants me to continue taking 975 mg of iron and 1500 mg of vitamin c a day... sick. and the funny thing is? i am taking all this vitamin c and still manage to catch a cold..medical phenomenon? i hate taken all this medince.

lately i have been really down and depressed. just thinking about how lonely i am.. really i don't have any one to say they love me everyday, no one to fight with, no one to cuddle with, no one to call me mom and bring me dead dandelions.. NOTHING.. and i am seriously thinking its me. Am i some stark raving bitch? am i bad girlfriend? am i that hideously ugly? ugh i hate this.... sorry to be so negative but that is how i am feeling. It cracks me up to hear people say to me "how can you have low self esteem?" or "why are sad today? you aren't supposed to be sad!"--- say what? who says i am not SUPPOSED to be anything. look people i am sad, i have a little social circle (she is fun to hang out with don't get me wrong but our schedules are almost completely opposite). I fell like a loser half of my life and the other half i hide it with my fabulous sense of humor... just let me feel whatever i want people! GOSH!!!!!!!

9.11.2008

Remember

so this morning as you all well know marks the anniversary of 9/11.. crazy that i can remember exactly where i was and what i was doing. i remember the smells and my roommates all literally crying. President Bednar called all classes except religion ones be cancelled and we all were stunned. I had to call my mom and wish her a birthday and notice how i didn't say happy.

well i just want everyone who is sacraficing their lives either physically or emotionally to fight for me and the rest of the nation-- WAY TO GO!!!

9.09.2008

update!!!

so this week has been fun and interesting. i dyed my hair all brown again. i decided to do so since i needed some kind of change. i don't really think it was as a dramatic change as i wanted it to be. but hey i should try again in weeks to make it a little more red/brown. :) yahoo.

I am still taken lethal amounts of iron! i say lethal cause i swear its causing more problems then it is helping.. for example i have these random spells of passing out. its kinda cool real as long as i know i will wake up within about 30 seconds. its fun at work cause i tell the kids they are stressing me out and they are good for the rest of my shift...awww sweet success...
Again with work and their stupid uniforms they went around and asked what size we needed for our new prison issued polos... so being the smart "a" that i am i asked for a 5x in mens sizes! ahahah i think its funny-- maybe i am just immature like that.

So today i was looking at my moms weekly planner on the white board and i noticed that my sister (courtney) wrote on there that "sherman hearts leslie" my first initial reaction was to laugh but then i wanted to sit and cry. Sherman and i have been physically over since january but emotionally over for about 4 months which is fairly still recent in my mind. he moved to texas where he was doing installation crap.. he was up and down with me all summer and i played into all the wishy washiness for some stupid reason. i believed him that he said he had changed. well one day he called and told me about this new dog he had and how everyone thought he was stupid for getting it and all i said was "well you are a big boy and can make your own decisions" and he freaked out on me. and told me that i should never call him or text him. so i didn't but i myspace stalk him just to see what he is up to and apparently he is seeing a younger cuter girl than me who drinks and i am assuming everything else that he would have like me to do. any advice to why i ever thought of marrying him? ughh i don't know whether to get upset or just get mad.. a lot of hurt and confused feelings.

on a lighter note i get to back to third grade on thursday where i eat school lunch with my sister---woot woot! that day is also my mothers birthday 9/11 crappy i know. then on friday is my brothers senior home coming game!! which i am so excited for!
as you can tell i pay no attention to puncuation in my blogs cause this key board i am using is socially retarded... so its not my fault.

thanks for taking the time to read this! next i am going to post a singles add-- lol

-leslie

8.26.2008

i am okay

First of all thank you to all of you who kept me in your thoughts and prayers and the many of words of comfort and encouragement.

Second-- my white blood cells came out normal yesterday (thank goodness) that was quite a scare. My iron levels are still dangerously low--so low they barely register-- crazy huh. oh well so i have to take 325 mg of iron with 500 mg of vitamin C three times a day (so pretty much i am gonna get constipated and i hate that) i go back in next tuesday to see if that is working, if it isn't then i will get an infusion. so i am not out of the clear yet.

okay thats the update today--- maybe i will write more later who knows.

8.25.2008

I vant to drink your blood

Okay so today has finally arrived-- i slept alright last night considering that i have this doctor appointment that scared the crap out of me! I am getting blood drawn at this hematologist. My friend has the same doctor and she assures me that he is nice, and i totally trust her but why the hell can't he have his own office does he really have to work at the Huntsman Cancer Clinic? Does that ease my anxiety any less? NO! oh well.. afterwards i am going to verizon wireless to get the new LG NV2. I get it for an excellent price-- yay! i like to shop and spend money that i don't have when i become upset!

I have applied for several jobs last night because i HATE the politics that are going on out at Copper Hills Youth Center. Seriously it bugs me bad. Its not only the uniforms its the way some team leads are the CEO and COO pets and they get away with anything. Its also some of the therapists baby their clients and then tell us MHA's that they are good kids and never act up with them-- of course they don't act up with their therapists, the therapists see them twice a week for an hour a piece and maybe for group therapy once a week for an hour. The mental health associates see them from 8 to 16 hours a day-- grr it pisses me off. Oh well life goes on.

I have started drinking gatorade g2 at least. Hopefully this time Doty's father won't yell at me for sipping gatorade-- G2 HAS LESS SUGARS WILLY!!! okay anyways i love it its very tastey-- although my favorite gas station to go to doesn't have it so i am going to have to go across the street to get it-- dang gas stations.

okay well i am off to go get ready--- yippeee--- thanks for everyones' support.